Hasib, my husband, was right. I will write a post sitting on a beach. I argued with him, saying
I have a baby now, my times of writing posts are over!
Needless to say I was wrong. Yes, here I am sitting in my car, on Brighton beach, enjoying the waves and listening to Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna and writing a post. My 6 month old, sleeping peacefully in my lap, after a bottle of milk. And I am also writing my blog.
THANK YOU SMART PHONES!
I see so many parents posting the negativities of being a parent. I have heard people complain so much about how their child have taken over their lives, etc etc. And they feel life is over, that there is nothing green after children.
When I see my little boy, I think of all the things I have lost, my freedom, my body, my time and even my career feels halted now. What I also tell myself is – my son is a part of me. If I’m constantly complaining and blaming all my losses to this helpless little bundle…I’m putting both of us down.
So here I am preserving myself, even though I’m a mother of a child. This is my me-time, with my son, who is a part of me. I think of the future days when he will also listen to KANK, because his mom listened to it. He one day, will also go for a lonely drive and sit next to the beach, and perhaps that day I won’t be here. He will cringe thinking of the back pain his ma developed from taking him on her lap. He will smile thinking how peacefully he slept as she did her own thing. He will miss the adventures of having playtime in the most weirdest of locations (on a car, next to a beach)
He will realise, no matter how hard motherhood was, his mom kept her own identity alive as much as enjoyed being his mom. He will forever hold me in his heart and perhaps that’s how parents live in the hearts of their children…forever and ever.
Although I know very well my son won’t remember this beautiful day with his, I can hope he realise what his parents gave up just for him, I hope he understands that parents love may be unconditional but he should never take it for granted.
Cheers to you Zayyan, today is for you. And also the day you learn to read and understand mom from her blog.