My first trimester…
My mom was very worried. Both her pregnancies were difficult. Would it be the same for me?
It wasn’t. I felt much much better than I expected. Except for an overwhelming exhaustion, I didn’t feel anything else.
Pregnancy did teach me to slow down. I’m the kind of person who knows no rest, and enjoys it. For me, life’s about all the little projects – moving houses, new jobs, weekend trips, organising the next social gathering, cooking new items, driving family around, gymming…doing something, anything!
Pregnancy taught me I can’t / shouldn’t do it all. For the sake of a little fruit getting bigger in my tummy. My primary focus was to fight the overwhelming fatigue so I could work!
I found myself hitting bed as early as 8:30 pm! I ate, as in ATE! I ate to keep the energy, to keep me going, to make sure the cogs in my brain still move for the mega project that landed on my lap at work.
The project was a blessing! I shooed the fatigue away focussing on my work – and taking steps to make sure my work is documented for anyone who picks up during my maternity leave. And I ate to keep me going
I ate in portions; a cup of coffee and cake early morning, fruits every couple of hours or anytime I felt drowsy, I drank religiously (a note, on my desk, reminding me to drink. I came to know that all the scary articles about eating this and not eating that are…unnecessary.
I made sure whatever I was eating was not unhealthy – it was cooked, and not raw. I indulged in casual unhealthy cravings – I ate without guilt telling myself that every variety food I eat will help my child develop and also get it used to allergic prone foods e.g. prawn, dairy, etc.
A little panic!
Life was passing by so fast, I did not know what I was doing, whether it was right or wrong. I listened to my body, I took rest, I worked, I ate…but panic hit me when I realised I know nothing about child rearing.
The first time I went nursery shopping, I was nervous! There were so many things on the list? How many am I supposed to buy? Were they all EXPENSIVE? How would I bear the expenses on maternity leave – which is a paycut for 4 months!
Thankfully, my husband knows me enough to let me have the panic attack, then assured me that all will be well, that I will be a wonderful mother; he assured that we should take things slow, one at a time, and not worry about the future too much. He made me realise that I had my biggest support just minutes away from me…my parents.
I noticed he started taking longer shifts. Our weekend trips and movie nights turned into baby furniture and car seat shopping. And… it didn’t feel bad. It was hard to feel bad when time passed like sand between fingers.
I remember it was exactly, calculatively the last day of my first trimester that I felt a surge of energy! I smiled, laughed and cracked jokes again. I got my husband to come with me to the gym! I started stretches and walks..before I knew it…first trimester was over!