I was very excited to see Ki and Ka’s trailer. Halfway into the movie I was quite impressed with Arjun Kapoor’s concept that a housewife is an artist and he aspires to be like his mom, not career chasing dad. I cringed when he, out of jealousy asked his wife if she slept her way up her career ladder, to which her response was punching and kicking leading to intense love-making. In the end, the message in the movie is, regardless of your gender the roles, a marriage is all about adjustment, commitment and love for each other.
Here goes annoyance reason 1…
Annoyance 1: The role of a housewife is insulted.
It sounds nice – The housewife is an artist. In reality, today the term housewife / househusband is used like a derogatory concept. Society gives zero value to a person staying at home and contributing to no finance. The movie very shallowly portrays,
- a house”wife” spys on the housemaid, runs kitty parties and basically spends time cooking, decorating and cleaning the house.
- The incident where Arjun Kapoor’s character charged money in exchange of personal training to fellow fat friendly “housewives” who craves attention from their “husbands” by becoming fit and loosing weight is another thread of insult to the role.
- It portrays that a housewife/husband does not understand the value of entrepreneurship or business.
- Just because they need money and the bread earner is not able to provide the money, the housewife/husband is ready to use their social community ties and charge money for something they would usually provide for free.
The reality of a housewife/househusband’s role
The truth about a housewife/househusbands role is far from this unrealistic , shallowly directed movie. Our society expects one person (generally the woman) to stay back and “look after” home and kids. Any person who plays this role becomes bind within “four walls” and their thought process slowly becomes limited to their surroundings. They begin to feel excluded from external Worlds: usually, they are unable to relate to the career/business struggles of their bread-earning partner. Since they are dependant on the sole bread earner they tend to loose their ability to voice opinions and concerns to their financially solvent counterpart. Sometimes they even struggle to keep up with the never-ending changing environment of kids. In fact, their relationship with their partner and kids develop a constant tension resulting in the stay-at-home person to underestimate their own role and capacity compared to people of the outside world – their partner and kids. It is qute natural that the person staying back at home does not truly understand the harsh and crucial world of earning money. Even the role of the bread earner is affected if only one person plays the role of a househusband/wife. The bread earner remains detached from the responsibilities at home and tends to reciprocate their absence at home with materialistic things . The bread earner naturally develops a false sense of power in the household and expects everyone to be their subordinate. The bread earner develops a big ego and puts less effort towards understanding the struggles at home and or raising kids. Even kids are affected in this kind of environment – they tend to treat their stay-at-home parent as the annoying one whereas the working parent is the fun to be with!
Even our caveman ancestors were more modern than we are!
Funnily, we STILL practice or have the expectation to practice, the picture-based cave-life concept that a woman needs to stay home and look after the family and a man needs to go hunting for food. What we don’t understand or try to understand is that, even in cave-life the person staying at home was equally trained to fight and kill animals, perhaps not for prey, but to keep their home safe. Evolution and their environment has taught each gender to become more skilled in their own ways. Generally, a man’s strategy involves focusing on the outcome rather than how it is achieved. Generally, a woman see’s an outcome and quickly works out the multiple ways to achieve it – and then focuses on the “how” to reach a goal. Evolution has also taught men to adapt to a woman’s thinking and vice versa. So the battle of the smarter and cleverer sexes is really pointless!!
We scream equality today referring to the equal rights of men and women. This concept of a man and woman’s role in a household has got nothing to do with equal rights. A home is the outcome of a man and woman putting their heads together to build a life. Ideally, there should not be one bread earner and one home maker – both the man and woman needs to be equally involved in looking after a home and kids and at the same time work in the outside world. This helps a family, not only financially, but also generates a healthy balanced environment for the kids.
We should not under estimate the term housewife/husband – nor should we underestimate the tasks and roles of a housewife/husband.