Every single time. Every single freakin time. Its become extremely hard to have a proper sober conversation with a fellow member of the opposite sex.
I was a very simple closet girl who used to be so shy around boys, I had to rehearse my “hello” lines with a classmate sitting next to me in my head. Well… maybe not that pathetic! But you get the point. Then, during my wonderful teens I met a bunch of boys (men now) who helped me out of my shell, shhh they’ll never know! These wonderful friends helped me realise friendships don’t have a gender.
Reflecting on the state of this world, and my personal experiences I have enough reasons to be a man hating-feminist. Im not. I support most feminist principles but am not a man-hater. In times of doubt, I always place examples of my dad and friends in frony of me – to not hate Men as a community.
In times of doubt : yes there are times during conversations, when I come across a few members of the opposite gender who stir my ability to trust and think of goodness in a man. The hardest part is recognising their ‘Real’ chain of thought as they well hide their intentions behind a smirk or a brush off. Interestingly, most of the time when I ask them to clarify what they meant, they change the topic. “Oh I was just joking!”, “Oh you’re too serius”, “Oh you misunderstood what I meant!” , “I didn’t realise you’d take it so twistedly, my god you have a complicated mind”. Its the exact same lines, spoken by men from different background in context of the same topic. At the end of a conversation, I feel like I’m standing tall defending my feminist principles against these pretenscious …examples of unlikeable men.
Having mentioned the pretenscious D-bags I do think its worth praising Real likeable men , who continuously restore my faith in “Man”kind. They’ve touched my heart by being there as a friend when I needed just that – a friend. They’ve said kind words – not sympathetic, but kind when I needed strength. I’ve always treated them like boys and they’ve proved themselves to be men simply by treating me like a lady. And now that I have become a fiesty feminist not-so-shy young woman, it feels good to see some friends of the opposite gender understand and respect my fiesty actions. Im yet to find someone who’d actually stand up against double meaning hidden chauvinistic comments. Thats why Farhan Akhter’s initiative MARD is quite impressive to me.
Nowadays although it has become extremely hard to have a proper sober conversation with a fellow member of the opposite sex – I take solace thinking of the extremely valuable few men in my life who are different from majority. Hopefully they’ll grow in numbers in the future.